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But once those intense feelings of chemistry go away (as they usually do after 18 to 36 months – just long enough to conceive and raise a young child), his attraction will still spike every time he sees an attractive woman, in some form or another.

The more self-aware men understand this intellectually, and relegate those spikes of attraction to what they are – biologically programmed bursts of pleasure. Men can admit attraction to favorite celebrities, and still be great husbands and fathers.

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And, if it is sexual arousal, does that happen only in seeing a naked woman (magazine, strip joint, porn) or does that happen when you see a beautiful clothed woman as well?

I have always been very curious about this as I think it is very different for women.

–Cat Dear Cat, Thoughtful and provocative question, and I’m going to attempt to tackle it even though I’m no therapist, historian or biologist.

First off, I want to acknowledge that everything you wrote, in my estimation, is true.

Because they don’t rationally calculate the value of their losses. These are perfectly normal men, but they are also exceptions. It’s far better to understand and accept these qualities in men than to shame them, insult them, or tell them that they’re wrong for being this way.

So Tiger sleeps with a waitress in a Denny’s parking lot and he loses a half billion dollars, his wife, his kids, and his golf mojo. So even if we establish that men are driven by sex, it’s far from the whole story, as evidenced by the 50 million married men in the United States. As long as he treats you well and doesn’t take action on his desires, you’ve got a good man whose desire for you is stronger than his real sexual impulse to be with someone else. It meant that, no, I don’t have to worry about that attractive busty blonde at the party, because she doesn’t mean any more to him than the tall, willowy brunette with the short skirt.

GOOD men can appreciate the female form, either clothed or naked.

GOOD men are aroused by images of clothed or naked women (but not as much as you’d think.)Without covering the entire landscape of debates about DNA or evolution or propagation of the species, here’s my take on the whole thing: Men, since the beginning of time, were designed to spread their seed.

Because they’re high profile, rich, ambitious men who are desirable to these women.

Because they’re so important that they don’t think the rules apply to them.

I’m wondering, from your perspective, what you think it is.

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